Category: Uncategorized

  • Kautz Glacier

    Day 1: Saturday, July 26

    Aiden and I reached the Paradise parking lot at MRNP at 7:30AM and were on trail around 8:30. We enjoyed a brief walk on the beginning of the skyline trail and chatting with passerby before ducking some lines (Ranger approved) and taking a climbers trail down some loose scree to the lower Nisqually glacier. Gaining the Nisqually glacier this late in the season required some surprisingly time-consuming moraine scrambling on loose, fist to watermelon sized talus. We hopped 2-3 moraines before we were roped up and consistently walking on ice and snow. There were few crevasses and the glacier was quite flat at this part, but quite a bit of rock and icefall hazard. We saw some rockfall on the cliffs to the climbers right, and heard much more. There were intermittent periods of cloudiness in the valley, which would not boil off until mid-afternoon.

    We climbed the Nisqually until reaching the Wilson bench around midday. This was good snow and relatively free from overhead hazard until passing underneath a large rocky outcropping below the ridge crest. We ascended to one such section of exposed rock and scrambled across 20-30 feet of awkward, wet class 3 slabs before continuing up to the ridge crest. This was a long continuous push due to the rockfall hazard of being below the ridge. From here it was uncomplicated but tiring scree and steep sun cup walking up the ridge to upper castle. Somewhere around Sharkfin camp we climbed fully out of the clouds, getting our first good look at the enormous task ahead of us. We reached Upper Castle (9,400ft) around 5pm and set up camp. A party of two passed us to camp at Hazard, and we saw another party of two camped below us at Lower Castle. The plan was to sleep for as long as we could before climbing the remaining 2000ft to camp Hazard (~11,200).

    Gaining the ridge to Castle

    Day 2: Sunday, July 27

    We packed up and left Upper Castle at 10:30 the next morning after a long rest and a leisurely start to the day. It was warm and toasty in the tent and sunny and windy outside with temps in the 50s during the day. Gusts might’ve been as high as 10-15mph on the ridge the night before, but for the most part we were sheltered from the wind and conditions were good climbing the Turtle Snowfield. This was an arduous walk up sun-cupped 30-40 degree snow. The snow surface was soft and slushy with a hard layer of consolidated slippery snow underneath. We climbed through midday, reaching Camp Hazard at 2PM. Camp Hazard is just below the rock step that marks the beginning of the Kautz route and is potentially compromised by large seracs and rockfall high above. It’s exposed and windy. Hesitant to overstay our welcome, we planned to nap here until 5pm and make a bid on the ice chutes in the early evening to do the technical crux in the remaining daylight. This would put us on the upper Kautz during the coldest part of the night, when snow bridges would be the most stable.

    At the base of the Turtle snowfield
    Looking up the Turtle snowfield

    After resting and fueling up as best we could (the altitude was starting to get to me at nearly 11,300ft) we descended the rock step in an awkward half-belay half-downclimb process. My panic attack tendency reared its ugly head trying to scramble across the rockfall zone and onto the Kautz to the base of the route, nearly causing us to turn around, but I took some deep breaths and with some encouragement from Aiden we reached the base of the climb unscathed and calm. The Kautz is separated into two distinct ice slopes with a lower-angle snowfield in between. The ice was relatively bare and hard, with running water trickling down the center. The first ice slope varied in pitch from 45 to 60 degrees in chunky ledges for a general grade of AI2-. I led the first section in one 70m pitch followed by another 40m or so of steeper ice into the easy simul-terrain of the middle snowfield. The ice was in prime condition, an inch or two thick layer of crusty alpine ice over plastic, blue glacier. The sticks were good, and the screw placements (we took eight ice screws) were better. Climbing through the first slope was smooth and comfortable, albeit a little gripping to look down and see the massive ice cliffs below and the seracs above and to the climbers right. Not bad for my first ice leads ever! I placed a picket and microtraxion where the grade eased off into the snowfield and we simuled to the base of the crux.

    Starting the first ice pitch

    It was starting to get dark in the chute as the sun went over the ridge to the climbers left, so we decided to shorten our pitches such that we could easily stay in communication. I set off up the first pitch of the crux, which was slightly steeper than the first chute: a sustained 60-65 degree slope with smaller and fewer chunky ledges. I built an anchor 35m above the belay at a huge penitente. Despite the slightly headier moves, the ice was even better on the crux making for smooth, enjoyable climbing. I was getting tired though, so we decided to change leads here. Aiden was feeling good and more than happy to get some leads in on the crux.

    Darkness encroaching over the ridge
    First pitch of the crux

    We climbed two more pitches of similar 65ish degree ice up and out of the crux, and then another pitch where the grade slowly eased off above the chute. The smooth, rolling ledges of alpine ice gradually sharpened into penitentes as the grade decreased. By this point it was completely dark and getting to be a brittle, biting cold in the low 20 degree range. After the fourth pitch we transitioned to roped glacier travel for the upper Kautz with Aiden leading. This turned out to be fighting through knee-to-waist high penitentes. We trended to the right, encountering larger and larger crevasses along the way. Had it been light, we would have been able to see a rather obvious path up the left side of the Kautz avoiding the largest of the crevasses, but instead we found ourselves crossing a couple dubious snow bridges. One of these was only a few feet wide and overhanging on one side, though eight or ten feet deep and stable, requiring an acrobatic shimmy across. Aiden scrambled across without any issues, but after the mental toll of the ice chute and the disconcerting blanket of darkness above (and now below) me I felt the effects of my panic attacks once again. I attempted to mount the snow bridge and promptly freaked the fuck out. Aiden set up a belay and I tried again, slowly but surely inching my way across. In hindsight, we could have handled this a lot better. For one, our route finding in the dark took us through an objectively suspicious part of the Kautz, when we should have opted for more walking across a safer part of the glacier. Secondly, I didn’t ask enough questions about this snowbridge crossing – I assumed Aiden wouldn’t be able to come back across, and that our only option was for me to buck up and figure out a way to do a snow bridge cross I was obviously uncomfortable with, when in reality he could have come back easily and we could have looked for a better place to cross. Instead I made a knee-jerk assumption and then put myself in an objectively worse mental state in an already risky situation, damaging our communication. This was the last of my “panic” moments for the route, but unfortunately not the last of our dubious snow bridge crossings.

    We continued to weave through penitentes, now slowly but surely aiming towards the top of the Wapowety Cleaver. It was bitterly cold at this point. Our water was freezing and the going was slow. Penitentes made for difficult movement and obscured complex intersecting crevasses. At one point I even broke through an ice bridge up to my hip, warranting a yelp of surprise. Luckily the crack was small and I was able to wiggle my way out without issue. We crossed the Wapowety Cleaver at 13,000ft in an attempt to gain the upper Nisqually glacier and make a break for the summit, but Aiden shortly discovered a house-swallower crevasse with no end in sight. We were dead-ended, freezing cold and uncomfortable with the prospect of wandering around the upper Nisqually in the dark. We set up an emergency bivvy in a sheltered spot on the Nisqually side of the cleaver at 3:20AM with the intention of hunkering down until we had enough daylight to continue.

    Day 3: Monday, July 28th

    Three hours of the coldest sleep of my life later, we were up and moving again at 6:30AM. We walked a short ways down the Wapowety Cleaver, discovering some intended bivvy sites (if only we knew!) and then once again out onto the Nisqually. A criss crossing of house-swallowers appeared to be the last big obstacle before the last penitente covered slog to the summit. Inspecting the crevasses, I found a point with a big but awkwardly pyramid-shaped snowbridge. I remember saying to Aiden “it’s gonna be scuffed, but it’ll go.” I scrambled across without issue, but I was uncomfortably aware that the peculiar shape of the bridge made it difficult to tell which parts were well supported by the ice underneath it.

    Once again in hindsight, it’s easy to see that we have become a little too comfortable with snow bridges. I’ve never taken a big fall into a crevasse, nor have I seen any larger structures collapse in person, besides hearing a serac fall from the other side of the mountain on Kulshan. Examining snow bridges carefully and setting up belays certainly helps mitigate some risk, but even with a belay the consequences of a partial or full bridge collapse or fall in this situation would have certainly meant injury and could possibly be fatal. There were enough unknowns here (how stable is this bridge actually and which parts are the most stable, when would it collapse, how would it collapse) that I don’t want to include this kind of exposure regularly into my risk tolerance. I’m glad that nothing notable happened. It won’t be a habit from here on out.

    Luckily for us, this was indeed the greatest of our remaining worries. It was shaping up to be a beautiful, cloudless day. The remaining walking up to the summit was an uneventful slog through the never-ending penitentes, with some end running of a few large crevasses and another couple of snow bridges which were thankfully uncomplicated. We reached the summit at 11:30AM. I don’t think I’ve ever been that tired in my life, and we still had all the way down to go.

    Finally at the summit!

    We took the DC route down. It’s beautiful, and really has anything a beginner mountaineer (or anyone looking for something less involved that what we just did) could want. Beautiful views, a handful of ladders across yawning crevasses, and a bit of easy scrambling on the cleaver. I enjoyed myself coming down in spite of my body feeling like it was going to collapse. We moved quickly through the icebox, high crack and bowling alley, and finally relaxed once we reached Camp Muir. By the way, I think Camp Muir is possibly the best place to be if you want to talk to someone who understands what the hell you’ve just been through after fighting for your life on the Kautz. Arriving beaten down mentally and physically, we were greeted by friendly climbers who refilled our water and asked us about the trials and tribulations of our quest. We discussed the conditions on the DC route and how good it was going to feel to be home. Also I forgot my water bottle at Camp Muir, so on the off chance anyone reads this and finds it, it’s a green and pink Owala. Please send me an email or something! I love that thing and miss it already.

    Looking up at the DC route from the top of the cleaver

    The Muir snowfield was a surprisingly fun descent, with sections of slippery plunge stepping and glissading. It felt like we were only walking for a short time before we were back on the Skyline trail down from Panorama Point. I told Aiden later that this section felt like the longest and hardest part of the descent, despite objectively being the easiest and shortest. My feet hurt so badly walking on the trail after wearing mountaineering boots for 26hrs that I was in tears. I was counting my steps by the 100s to get down to the parking lot. We made it back to Seattle around midnight, just in time for a stop at Dick’s Drive in before collapsing at home. What a day.

    Debrief

    Technical Gear Brought:

    • 70m rope
    • 8 ice screws
    • v-thread tool
    • single and double length slings for anchors
    • glacier travel kit (lockers, tibloc, prussik cord)
    • 2 microtraxions
    • 2 pickets
    • 2 ice tools per person

    Mistakes:

    • Getting too comfortable with sketchy snow bridge crossings
    • Shaky communication when crossing snow bridges
    • Underestimating the time and commitment of the approach

    Victories:

    • Great selection of rope techniques and transitioning between them!
    • We summited!
    • Decision making during the crux and on the glaciers was solid: choosing to bivvy when we did, when to move fast to avoid overhead hazard, when to set up belays.

    Other Comments:

    • Hot take, I’m glad we started the crux pitches in the evening despite the issues we had with the cold on the upper Kautz. The ice was the perfect temperature and it felt good to have some light for the ascent. I think this plan worked out well for us being beginner ice climbers and therefore on the slower end – in the future I would want to have the fitness and experience to climb the Kautz in two long days starting the ice pitches in the early morning.
    • Climbing never really got harder than AI2+, but in the late season this is all solid ice without a lot of snow and it absolutely eats screws. The rangers told us that recent parties were calling it AI3 and personally I think this is a bit of an overstatement. Since the climbing is so sustained and has little snow on it it’s a bit heady and needs to be taken seriously, but the movement is straightforward and pretty low-angle with lots of big hands-free ledges for placing pro and building anchors. I’d call it AI2 with a side of good old fashioned fun.
    • For conditions similar to ours, I would want at 6 screws minimum, perhaps up to 10. The party of two that passed us on Day 1 turned around because they only had a 30m rope and had planned to simul a great deal of the route. We were comfortable pitching things out in full rope lengths with our 70m rope and 8 ice screws. The party of two behind us had a 50m rope and 6 screws and passed us right around the time we started moving post-bivvy.
    • The approach to this climb in the late season is complicated and annoying with moraine crossings and lots of bare glacier. I imagine it’s a lot more straightforward in the early season, and the climbing is most likely easier as well on the crux pitches with some more snow and ice. If the prospect of sustained AI2 on solid ice is a little too freaky, I might opt for an ascent in May or June instead.
    Photo credits to Aiden, my favoritest climbing (and life) partner! My phone basically instantly died from the cold but I managed to get this one 🙂

    Man, between this trip and North Ridge I think I might have a newfound love in ice climbing. That being said I wouldn’t mind a long break from 20+ hour pushes. Kautz is a great route. In the late season it’s tough, committing and starkly beautiful with some great alpine ice. You’re going to love it.

    -M

  • Kulshan North Ridge

    Day 1: Sunday, July 6th.

    Having just returned to Seattle after visiting my family in the midwest for July 4th, Aiden and I planned for a late start on the north ridge. Day 1 would consist solely of the climb up to the Hogsback camp from the Heliotrope Ridge Trail. We packed bags and started the 2hr30min drive to the trailhead at 11am. Between lunch stops and a trailhead rendezvous with our third party member Eli, we were on trail at 3:30pm. We reached Hogsback camp at 5:30pm.

    There are two notable creek crossings on the Heliotrope Ridge Trail. The creeks were relatively low when we crossed, but the “big creek” about 2000ft of vert from the trailhead has a large waterfall below it so I ended up with wet feet from shuffling securely across. The second creek was low enough for an easy cross via rock hopping. No snow on the trail until camp, as would make sense given this point in the season.

    We shared camp with two other parties. One set of two tents (2-4 people?) who must have been asleep when we got there because we did not see them at all, and a group of six tents in a guided group. We didn’t speak directly to anyone from either party but speculated that the guided group was there for the Coleman-Deming route or potentially a crevasse rescue course. It was kind of surprising to me how few people were at camp, given the cloud-free warm weather that day and the following day.

    Day 2: Monday, July 7th.

    Summit day began with an alpine start at 2:25am. We roped up and put crampons on pretty much immediately, as there was a large moat ~200ft above camp we noted the night before and the high route to avoid it would make finding a convenient place to transition to roped travel somewhat difficult. We stayed on the C-D route to gain the first ridge above the moat, and then split off towards the eastern Coleman glacier.

    The next mile and a half was spent traversing the Coleman. This began with uneventful flat fields of ice and easy cramponing, but the yawning crevasses in the distance eventually approached and we found ourselves snaking through a maze of fridge to automobile sized cracks. This culminated in one particularly spicy crevasse crossing with a snow bridge which, despite being eight feet deep and comfortingly solid, was only two feet wide. With careful steps, we continued upwards towards the base of the ridge.

    We took our first break at sunrise on the rocky outcropping that marks the base of the north ridge at around ~2380m. Another party caught up to us here, three people doing a single-day push. The next few hundred feet was a ~45 degree snow/ice slope up to another rocky outcropping, followed by another hundred feet of 40 degree snice. We short-roped this section, but later lamented the lack of protection – a fall here would have meant tumbling over the rocky cliff we took our break on. The snice gave way to a flatter section at 2580m, where the other party passed us (for real this time) at 8:15am. From this section we could see the crux pitch, a steep blue headwall.

    Another longer break here for some food (and a bathroom break) and we began what would be a deceptively long trek up the wide ramp to the base of the crux. This started as easy but tiring snow climbing and then quickly transitioned to more consequential snice. I was leading the rope team. We started with the full seven armlengths between people in the lower part of the ramp and then transitioned to our short-roping configuration from earlier.

    We followed the tracks of the earlier party around a large crevasse, where the snice steepens to 40-50 degrees. At this point, said party had reached the crux pitch and proceeded to fling gratuitous amounts of ice down onto us. Unprotected, we traversed quickly to the left to the only shelter we could find, a moat underneath a small section of exposed rock. We placed a picket here, and Eli claimed the first leads of the day. We had a 70m rope with Eli tied in at the midpoint and the two followers at the ends for 35m pitches. This was unfortunately not a good move – everything seemed to look closer than it was, and it took us four 35m pitches to reach the base of the crux, eating up precious time. We had only two pickets, so protection was minimal: mostly just one anchor to another. We reached the base of the crux at 12:30pm, cold and bickering. Somewhere in this time frame there was an enormous thundering, which I predicted (and I was right) was an unstable serac falling off Colfax peak onto the Coleman-Deming route that I had seen the previous weekend climbing C-D with some other friends. So far as we know, no parties were hurt.

    Eli was exhausted from the numerous snice leads getting up to the crux, so Aiden took the crux pitch: a solid AI3 ramp curving to the left over a dip in the headwall and then straight up the 60 degree ice above. We made a fatal mistake here in that we only had six ice screws, one of which was incredibly dull. In an effort to quickly protect the crux, Aiden switched the dull screw for our brand-new and sharper 22cm screw, which we brought for making v-threads. He continued to climb, hoping to place a picket in softer snow above, and instead was met with more ice with only the dull screw for anchor building.

    Back at the belay station, our radio promptly died. Go figure. We waited in the meltwater coming off the headwall, slowly getting colder and wetter. After 15 minutes passed, Eli and I tried yelling to Aiden. No response. We yelled louder. No response. We waited for another 15 minutes, getting grumpy. By the time 50 minutes had passed, we were both shaking and had fully numb hands and feet. We wondered if something bad had happened to Aiden. We devised a plan to have Eli lead up the first crux section and try to communicate with him, and prepared for the possibility of a SAR call. Just as I had Eli on belay, Aiden started to pull the slack out. We were free! Cresting the headwall and seeing Aiden sitting at the belay gave me an intense feeling of relief. Approaching the anchor, I saw that he had painstakingly bored two v-threads with the short dull screw and equalized them. He was worried that one wasn’t enough with the reduced screw length (and no other screws for a screw anchor). We laughed and then cried, and then laughed again.

    Despite the welcome reunion, our work was far from over. To keep things simple, Aiden led another two pitches up 60 and 50 degree ice after the crux to our final obstacle, the bergschrund at ~3200m. We cut left here to avoid the gaping glacial abyss and up a funny looking 50 degree ice slope onto the flat plains of the summit. Aiden placed a picket and microtraxion at the top of this step for running protection. From here, it was a calm trudge to the summit, with only one dubious and well trodden snow bridge. Elated, we reached the summit of Kulshan (3280m) at 4:47pm. We didn’t spend long here, as we still had the entire descent to go and the daylight wouldn’t stick around forever.

    The trek down Coleman-Deming was one of the slogs of all time. We mistakenly followed a bootpack for the Easton Glacier route, and found ourselves traversing the Roman Wall in waist-deep slushy snow. This made for slow, arduous, mashed-potatoes postholing. We gained the ridge at the bottom of the Roman Wall after much cursing and complaining, gaining the bootpack as well. Soon after, we came upon the aftermath of the Colfax serac fall, and ran through the debris to minimize any further exposure. After what felt like infinite plunge stepping, we were back at Hogsback after a grueling 18hr push.

    We packed up camp and headed down that night, opting for continued slog in lieu of another night on the mountain without food for a three day trip.

    Debrief:

    Mistakes:

    • Shortroping instead of simul climbing with protection on the first snice sections leading up to the crux pitch.
    • 35m pitches instead of simul climbing on remaining snice sections leading up to the crux pitch – I later saw a video of someone using the “flying-Y” technique on this terrain which I think could be a great idea. If I find a good youtube video I’ll link it here.
    • Using v-thread screw as protection on the crux instead of another screw and running out of protection to place for the anchor.
    • Not having enough ice screws – we brought 6 ice screws and wished we had 8-10.

    Victories:

    • we made it!
    • good ice movement (as far as we were concerned)
    • no issues with altitude or injuries

    Other Comments:

    Since completing this climb, I’ve struggled to figure out exactly how I want to describe my feelings about it. For starters, I think it’s a good thing every year or couple of years to do something that you just barely meet the skill criteria to do. I think this practice has kept me humble in the mountains and encourages me to keep my basic skills fresh in addition to the big, flashy objectives that make me want to write blog posts. Eli said North Ridge felt like a final exam, and I think his description fits the most. We were tested over new skills, but also basic skills and fitness, not to mention team dynamics and decision making.

    In the aftermath, I’m grateful to my team members for being people I can trust so wholly. I’m grateful to Kulshan for allowing me to learn so much unscathed except for a couple of blisters. I can’t help but wonder if this is the beginning of a whole world of mountaineering opening before us. Regardless of where the stoke takes us next, the climb was amazing, and I’m so glad I did it. You’re going to love it.

    -M

  • How I’m training for my first Ultramarathon

    About 1 month ago, I signed up for my first ultramarathon. The race is 50km in length – the typical “beginner” ultra running distance.

    I’ve never run a marathon. In fact, I’m somewhat new to running in general, aside from a three year stint in cross country in my early teens. I started running again about a year and a half ago when I spent a summer in Colorado and wanted to improve my cardiovascular fitness in order to take on longer and more challenging hikes with my friends, coincidentally the same summer I decided I wanted to become a mountaineer. That fall, I signed up for a 25k trail run, and promptly got my ass handed to me.

    I made every possible mistake. My water bladder broke and dumped water all over me, I bonked, I rolled my ankle, I started too fast and hit the wall, I cried hysterically at the finish line and it took me forever to get there, but I did manage to finish and I vividly remember all these people around me with knowing looks, as if to say “it’s ok, you’ll get to try again.”

    Me, competing in the Rock Bridge Revenge 25k in October 2023.

    So now I’m trying again.

    The Strats

    My goals for the 50k are relatively simple:

    1. 1. Complete 12-16 weeks of training without injury.
    2. 2. Complete at least one long run of 22mi.
    3. 3. Finish within cutoff.

    1. Sustainable training

    Since I’m only in my second year of consistent running, it’s not feasible for me to be running incredibly high weekly mileage yet (see goal #1). There’s a decent argument to be made that if that’s the case, 12-16 weeks of training simply isn’t enough. However, the last time I considered running a 50k, I got burned out around week 4 and one of the factors was how much time I was dedicating to my training cycles. This reduction in training time is an experiment, which might not work. Either way, I’ll get to find out.

    My typical week consists of four to five runs: a long run, a speed session, and two or three easy “standard” runs. In later training cycles, one of these standard runs will become a second shorter long run for back-to-back long runs, a well known ultra training technique.

    I do my long runs and at least one of my easy runs on local trails. I try to look for trails with similar elevation gain to the race course I’ll be running (about 100ft of vertical per mile). For any run lasting longer than an hour, I bring food and water with me. I’ve found a nice equilibrium around 150 calories per hour accompanied by 1/3L of water.

    Frankly, it’s hard to get out the door a lot of the time. It’s winter in Seattle, and often dark by the time I can get out to run. If I ramp too quickly or push hard on the wrong day, I get blisters and lasting soreness. I had some trouble around week three with a mild calf strain, but patience and faithful PT allowed me to resume training after about a week. Especially as a new runner, I can feel myself toeing the line between getting stronger as efficiently as possible and pushing into injury territory.

    Complaining aside, these runs are oftentimes a ton of fun and a very meditative part of my day. I come out feeling calm and capable, and I’m seeing steady improvement in my running economy.

    2. Long runs

    I typically use heart rate zones to pace the majority of my runs, with easy runs being strictly zones 1 and 2, and my long runs in zone 2 on average. Over the past year and a half, I’ve seen steady improvements in my running economy from zone training, and if you’re a stats person like me, it feels pretty good to see that you can run the same distance in remarkably less time with identical cardiovascular effort!

    For the first long run I did, I realized that without thinking I’d already crushed my goal pace, which was originally simply to beat the cutoff. After that point, it was like a huge weight lifted off my mind. I was able to start having fun experimenting with my long runs. I can test out what gear I want to bring, so that I know I’ll be able to trust it. I can also test out different states of mind, different food, and different levels of effort.

    This has simultaneously been the best and the worst part of my training. As I take on higher mileage, I leave my long runs sore from consistent pounding on trails and often ravenous as I’m still working out the kinks in my fuel plan. I’ve also felt a unique focus and calm being truly unplugged from my phone and responsibilities for hours, and seen some beautiful parts of my local natural areas. While the training is difficult and time consuming, it comes with a unique confidence and appreciation for my own body and the world around me.

    3. Finish

    Part of the reason I became interested in ultra running was because racing for a nine hour day didn’t seem all that different from a 9 hour mountaineering push. I thought to myself, ‘Surely if I can climb for nine hours, I can run slowly for nine hours?

    I want to treat this race the way I treat any of my other objectives. I have a clear goal (finish the race) and I also have events that warrant turning around. I will not continue to run if I am injured or ill. I will not continue to run if the conditions on trail make it dangerous to do so. I will not continue to run if the rules prohibit me from running.

    After my 25k experience and subsequent mountaineering objectives that were also high effort days for me, I also know a little bit more about about the “pain cave” and how to navigate it. I know that for at least one point during the race, like all my other objectives, I’ll start looking for a way out because it’s hard. The key, I think, is acceptance. I accept that I hurt in that moment, that what I’m doing is hard and I don’t know if I’ll get to the end. I also make a promise to myself that I won’t quit until one of those conditions for stopping is satisfied. So far, most of the time, I manage to stick it out.

    During the race I hope to maintain that mental focus for as long as possible. I’ll let the crew figure out if I’m moving fast enough. By the time I’m on the course, there will be nothing I can give besides what my body has for that day. I already know I’ll be proud of myself no matter what.